growing pains 101 pilot
第一集 出师受挫
jason:alright lady drop that spatula.or you're scrambled
maggie:go ahead,make my day.well,i guess i showed you.
jason:show me maggie:oh jason,the kids.
jason:i can k**s the kids later.you know i read an article that said that two career couples should really make a special effort to always remain.fr**ky.
maggie:at breakfast?jason:at all meals.
mike:what's the matter?you guys aren't gettin' enough?jason:michael,a lot of kids would get smacked for a remark like that.
mike:come on dad,you can't hit me you're a liberal human**t.
jason:could be an accident.
carol:could be a dream come true.
mike:mom,can't we sell carol and get a tape deck for the volvo?carol:mike,you give new meaning to the word vacuous.
mike:oh yeah?what was the old meaning?carol:i rest my case.
jason:ben!ben!what's so funny ben?ben:that phyll** george,she's screwed up again.
maggie:hey,what's that you're reading about?carol:well it says here that as the universe expands,all matter ** degenerating into a state of total d**organization.
maggie:thank god i thought it was just me.
（mike在电话）
mike:so what are you guys doing tonight?the house of sweat",yeah great!hey look can i talk to you guys later,yeah,bye.
maggie:mike,what **"the house of sweat?carol:it's that new under twenty dance club on ger**o turnpike.
mike:yeah,and it sounds like a great idea mom.it's a safe,wholesome place for **s to congregate.
maggie:and the larger the group,the smaller their brains get.
jason:oh come on maggie!mike:yeah,come on maggie!yes well time to go wait for that school bus;you know if i hurry i can still get a seat in the non-smoking section.
maggie:good day!bye sweetheart.bye ben,love you!jason:catch you later ben!i still h**e some ** work to do before my nine o' clock gets here,and if you start feeling fr**ky and you h**e eight of ten seconds before work,you know where to find me.
maggie:ben,what are you doing here you'll m**s the bus.what's the matter honey?ben:dad didn't know how to do my elbow.
maggie:oh?let me see.oh dad did a great job on these cuts.superman band-aids-the works.oh i get it,he didn't k**s it better.and say i love you little pumpkin head.
ben:it was all so clinical.mom,how come you had to go back to work?maggie:i didn't h**e to ben,i wanted to.come here.ben,imagine you had to spend fif** years in th** house,without ever going out to play.you'd go crazy wouldn't you?well believe it or not,a lot of grown-ups feel the same way about work.
ben:that's sick mom.
maggie:ben,i know th** has been a big change for all of us,and i worry about not being here for you because.well.you're the youngest.and i worry about not being here for carol because she's a girl,and she needs her mother.and i worry about not being here for mike,to keep him from accidentally blowing something up.and believe me i worry about le**ing your father here to cope with all you monsters.
ben:you shouldn't worry so much mom,you'll make yourself crazy.
maggie:i love you.
patient:it's always the same dream doc.i on a subway,and th** woman sits across from me.beautiful woman!and i look at her,she looks at me.i lick my lips,she licks her lips.th** goes on,and finally she leans across and she wh**pers to me:"you h**e huge knees".does that mean anything doc?mike:i should be good for about five bucks a piece.
jason:good v**it waller,and hey don't worry too much about th** thing,ok?see you next week.bye bye!mike:can i talk with you for a second dad?jason:sure.
mike:in your office.kids!jason:so,you wanted to talk about something.
mike:yeah,erm,mostly i just wanted to mention how smoothly things h**e been running,since the wife went back to work,and you moved your practice back into the house.
jason:well thank you.
mike:dad,we've been friends now for a long time.right?jason:off and on,yes
mike:i know,i love that.see dad,you know that dance hall place i mentioned th** morning.
jason:"the house of sweat".
mike:yeah,yeah.jerry and i were talking and we decided.
jason:jerry?mike:yeah,jerry del**h.he's an older friend of mine,an excellent driver,with two years of drivers a.
jason:two years of drivers a?mike:yeah,you see in h** first class he ran over a dog.but he drove beautifully after that,and we're talking one tiny,wreckless little dog here dad.
jason:tough break.
mike:so anyway i was thinking that maybe we could go down there tonight,and jerry would drive so you wouldn't h**e to.
jason:what would your mother say?mike:mom?i guess she would say.what's the phrase i'm looking for here dad?jason:no!mike:yeah that's it.i guess that means i can't go,right?jason:well,it just means i don't like you coming in,and trying to get away with something.
that's not the relationship i wanna h**e with you.
mike:i'm sorry dad.
jason:alright now look.now that i'm in charge at home,we can try things my way.
mike:alright!jason:you don't even know what"my way"**?mike:sure i do dad,it's a sinatra song.
jason:you're wo**n' a fine line here mike.ok look,here's the deal.i'll give you a little freedom,you've got to prom**e me a lot responsibility.
mike:hey,no problem dad.i swear,i am ready for total responsibility
jason:mike,i'm not ready for total responsibility.
mike:you're right,sorry.
jason:ok?you go out and h**e a good time.just remember what we talked about.
mike:absolutely dad,thanks,i prom**e.wait,what about mom,what if she's mad?jason:mike,your mom's not an ogre.i'll talk to her she'll understand
maggie:you let him do what?jason:maggie,he's fif** years old now.
maggie:so what!he's fif**!it's completely arbitrary to just pick an age like that,and say that ** when a kid ** mature.
jason:you know that by the time mozart was fif**,he'd written seven symphonies.
maggie:that's because mozart's father didn't let him go to"the house of sweat".who did he go with?jason:i don't know.some kid.jerry dol**h,dell**h.
maggie:jerry"dog killer"dell**h.
jason:maggie,he hit one dog.
maggie:yeah,but he hit it four times
jason:ok,well,err,mike **n't jerry,and a kid needs some freedom in order to learn responsibility.
maggie:ah jason i know you believe in th** unlimited human potential.stuff.and that's great for your patients,but when.
maggie and jason:.it comes to your own children.
maggie:.i believe in original.
jason:.sin.
maggie:sin.oh i don't know,maybe i shouldn't h**e gone back to work.
jason:now come on maggie,don't say that.now you took fif** years off,to ra**e a family,and you deserve to go back to work now.you just h**e to h**e a little faith in me and the kids.
maggie:oh,maybe you're right.
jason:course i'm right.we shouldn't be worrying,we should be.celebrating,which ** why i've taken the liberty of placing a little chilled champagne in a bucket beside the bed.slipped some satin sheets on the old bouncer.
maggie:satin sheets,you?jason:yeah,well the gut in the store showed me some before and after pictures of a couple who tried them and.they looked very.sat**fied.
maggie:and what about ben,and carol?jason:well i slipped some sleeping pills into their gatorine.they'll be asleep for about three weeks.
maggie:jason!jason:well i didn't really,but they are fffrrrr,and we can frrefderrtt!hello.yeah th** ** jason se**er.no you must be looking for someone else because.take your clothes off.no,no,our mike ** only fif**,so he wouldn't be driving a car.i see.
maggie:what did he say?jason:he said,“that's why your mike ** in our jail.”
pr**oner:what are you in for kid?mike:i killed a man,just to watch him die.you?pr**oner:unpaid pa**ng tickets.
mike:oh no it's my mom!jason:come on maggie,we don't even know the facts yet.i mean it's not so unusual for a **age boy to h**e a minor run-in with the police.some of these guys can be real macho headbangers.
policeman:hiya!you folks care for some hot cocoa?i just made a fresh pot.
jason:look,we're the se**ers.you've locked up our son.an officer claimed he was driving a car.
policeman:ah yes sir,we.er.picked him up in the"house of sweat"pa**ng lot.he was driving in circles for approximately twelve minutes.
jason:ok,so a fif** year old boy drives h** friend’s car around the lot a few times.
policeman:oh did i mention,he side swerved a police car on the way out?jason:he what?policeman:he tore that bumper off like he was peeling an orange.a three hundred and fifty dollar orange.
mike:hiya dad.mom.you look good tonight.you look young!pr**oner:come on son.
mike:mom,dad,th** ** jerry.i guess it's kind of hard to see the bas** of...