我收到一封电子邮件，对方是我一个大学同学，我最后一次见他还得追溯到（几十年前）他那次**。当时我要求他罢手，他却粗鲁地告诉我少管闲事。他当时可是学校的“大名人”，而我则是个不善社交的无名之辈。如今，这家伙是纽约一家律师事务所的高级合伙人（毕业于耶鲁法学院，1968级），他邀请我共进午餐。在同学中，我最不想见的要数他了，不理睬他都显得我太客气了。不知有没有更富创意的招？senior fellow at world-famous think-tank,male,60s 某世界知名智库高级研究员，男，60多岁lucy's answer露西的回答the fact that you h**e kept your loathing of th** man burning steadily for 42 years ** no surpr**e to me:these student d**likes are oddly durable.i h**e faithfully desp**ed for decades a couple of people who were at university with me.these days i can't remember anything much about them – and certainly wouldn't recogn**e them if i bumped into them in the street – but i do remember they are forever hateful to me.你如此执着而又强烈地讨厌对方长达42年，我毫不奇怪：学生时代形成的厌恶感持续时间会出奇地长。我也曾几十年如一日地讨厌自己一些大学同学。到现在我也记不起他们多少事了（在街上不经意碰见对方，肯定都认不出来），但是我确实明白，自己对他们的厌恶会一直持续下去。although your d**like endures,you h**e changed a great deal in the intervening four decades – at least in one respect.while he has(annoyingly)been as successful as he always thought he would be,your relative position has improved beyond measure.as a senior fellow at a world-famous institution,you are h** equal now.that shift in perspective alone may cause you to view him differently;if he no longer looks down h** nose at you,you might find you no longer d**like him.虽说你的厌恶感挥之不去，但风风雨雨40年后，你也有了很大的改变—至少从一个方面可以看出。虽然他一直如他所愿地那样事业有成（这让人不爽），但你的相对地位也有了明显改善。你如今是一家全球知名机构的高级研究员，和他比起来毫不逊色。你看问题的角度发生了变化，仅此一点就会改变你对他的看法；如果他不再瞧不起你，你可能也会发现，自己不再那么讨厌他了。if i were you,i'd say yes to lunch.enjoy the fact that the former bmoc ** now cap in hand to the former lm**s(little man in social siberia).with a cool curiosity,i'd let him say h** piece and try to assess him d**passionately.换了我，会接受对方的午餐邀请。让过去的“名人”(bmoc)对当年的lm**s（社交场上的“小人物”）恭敬一番，何乐而不为！带着几分冷静、几分好奇去赴宴，我会让对方直抒胸意，然后不偏不倚地作出评判。if you decide he's as hateful as he always was,you h**e at your d**posal a particularly nasty tool of torture.over dessert(if top new york lawyers eat such a thing,which i doubt),you should obliquely refer to the cheating incident.don't confront him directly,as any halfway decent lawyer will be adept at wriggling off the hook.instead,find some way of gently dropping a hint to show you h**en't forgotten about it.he most certainly won't h**e forgotten either;and won't at all enjoy the feeling that h** lunch guest does not view him as a legal god,but pers**ts in seeing him as a nasty,sneaky cheat.（谈话中）如果你发现他还是一如既往地招人烦，你可以选择用一种特别龌龊的方式修理他。吃甜点的时候（如果说纽约的高级律师们吃这类东西的话—我对此表示怀疑），你可以委婉地点出他当年**那档子事。不要和他正面冲突，因为假正经的律师都是滑头，岔开不光彩的事都特别在行。相反，要设法旁敲侧击地暗示对方，你还记得当年的事。对方当然也是心知肚明，看到自己邀请的客人并未把他当成法律界的骄子，而是仍视他为当年那个**、道德龌龊的小人，这种感觉着实不爽。for your sake,i hope you do still d**like him.the alternative – that you come away thinking that he's a perfectly nice guy – would be a less sat**fying outcome.to nurse feelings so strong and for so long ** a serious commitment;almost an act of faith.to d**cover it was all for nothing could simply prove too d**orienting,th** late in the day.就你而言，我倒希望你仍然讨厌对方。换一种结果—你用完餐后觉得对方人相当不错—可让人不太舒服。要知道，如此长时间地保持着一份如此强烈的厌恶感，称得上一种严肃的承诺—差不多成了一种信念。倘若到头来发现这几十年是“白忙活”一番，心里肯定很是怅然，有点早知今日、何必当初的感觉。your advice局外人的建议appet**ing offer 不吃白不吃who would turn down an invitation for lunch in,presumably,a good restaurant in these harsh economic days?perhaps he wants to confess and say how much he appreciates your d**cretion at the time.hell,he might even offer you a top job at h** law firm.在眼下这种经济不景气的时候，有人请你去高档餐厅（估计应该是）用午餐，只有傻子才会拒绝！也许对方就是想忏悔一下，顺便好好感激一下你当初的好眼力。嘿嘿，说不定还会给你送上一份他律师事务所的美差呢。banker,57,male 银行家，57岁，男性cold shoulder 甭理他if he ** following up a 40-year-old cold trail,he must be in business siberia – presumably because by now h** ethics are well known to h** partners and clients.如果对方四十年来一直不思悔改，那他在生意场上肯定也是个孤家寡人（很可能是因为他如今的合伙人和客户都清楚他的道德老底了）。anon 匿名cheat the cheat 以牙还牙in grade school,if someone ** trying to cheat off your **,you put up a bunch of wrong answers,let him copy them,and change your answers at the last moment.do the same thing now:let him take you to lunch(at the best place you can wheedle out of him),and when asked for intelligence on things feed him m****rmation that will prove embarrassing for him.wait for the“you sob”e-mail with enjoyment.上小学时，要是有人想抄你的试卷，你就胡乱编一堆错误的答案让他抄，临交卷时再改过来。如今对付他也可以如法炮制：让他请你吃饭（找个你能让他答应的最好的地方），当对方征求你的高见时，编一套瞎话哄他，让他最终颜面扫尽。然后你就偷着乐吧，静等对方“骂娘的邮件”。male,anon 男性，匿名don't waste time 别浪费时间no reason to change your view just because he contacted you.no reason to waste your most precious asset – time.“thanks for thinking of me,but i'm going to pass.i hope things go well for you.”不能因为对方请你吃饭就改变自己的看法，也没有理由浪费你最宝贵的资产—你的时间。对他说：“谢谢你还想着我，但我去不了。祝你万事如意”。businessman,male,55 商人，男性，55岁memory loss 记忆丧失easy – just say you don't remember him and now live between the maldives and bahamas so couldn't possibly be bothered with lunch.then forget it.处理这事简单—就说你记不起他了，如今住在马尔代夫和巴哈马之间的某地，因此无法赏光赴宴。随后彻底忘掉这件事。anon匿名we've all been fools 大家都当过傻子face it:all of us were idiots back in our 20s.what a terrible fix we would be in if we were all frozen in time,and not allowed to improve as people as we age.k**s and make up,that ** my advice.life ** too short to carry grudges.直面此事：大家20多岁那阵子都不太明事理。要是大家都抓住过去那点事不放，只长年纪不长脑子，那我们都变成啥样子了？一笑泯恩仇吧—这是我的良言。人生苦短，何必那么计较呢？vp,male,51 副总裁，男性，51岁job done 目的已经达到了by giving so much detail in yourquestion,your goal ** accompl**hed.你的问题中提供了这么多的细节，你的目的已经达到了。treasurer,male,45 财务人员，男性，45岁a sinner can repent people change.one of my most decadent college cronies ** now a b**hop.lawyer,male,54 罪人现身说法忏悔，能让听者盘然醒悟，洗心革面。本人有位大学密友，当初颓废透顶，现如今都成了主教！eat h** lunch 律师，男性，54岁break bread with the crook.he wants something.you know he was,and probably still **,d**honest.so,get a free lunch and find out what he's up to.if you don't,he may well pop up even unpleasantly on your radar.吃他的去male,anon 让那骗子请你。他想达到某种目的。你知道他过去是个不诚实的人，或许现在还是。因此，去吃一顿免费午餐，弄清楚他究竟什么意思。男性，匿名译者/常和